The Importance of Bum Days

The Importance of Bum Days (Original Image from Unsplash.com)

Last year I blogged about being an introvert. For those curious about my MBTI type, I fluctuate between an INTJ or ISTJ. What doesn’t fluctuate is that I’m an introvert. I’ve also come to realise that I am also a social or an outgoing introvert. As an introvert, I gain energy by being alone with my hobbies, but when I am with the right people, I’ll be super outgoing and actually gain energy by being around others just like an extrovert. But I can’t do that all the time. My job alone drains me because I’m dealing with what feels like ten thousand people on a daily basis that requires me to be quite talkative. On Saturdays, I usually designate that day to meet with friends, but Sunday is what I call my “bum day”.

For many people, Sunday is a day of rest. For me, Sunday is not only a day of rest, but it’s also the day where I can recuperate my social and mental energy! Most of my friends know that I will not leave my house on Sunday. Sure, that limits my time to meet with friends, but I need this day to myself. The only time I will sacrifice my bum day is when that’s the only day I can do a particular task. For an example, I met up with Thao, Holland, and Shayne because they were only in Korea for those few precious days. Today is another bum day I’m sacrificing because it’s my mum’s 70th birthday bash. I will give up my bum day for those kind of circumstances, but anything else can wait!

On my bum days, I stay home primarily except for the short times I go out to the store or restaurants for food. This is the day where I catch up on my hobbies. I blog, read books or fanfics, watch movies or TV shows, or play video games. I take naps on these days because I am catching up on my sleep that I lack during the week. Primarily, I use this day to replenish my mental, physical, and social energies; I do that in order to make it through another work week of my many social interactions. I know my limits, and through these bum days, I recuperate my body, mind, and soul.

Thankfully, most of my friends understand my need for this day to myself. Apparently other introverts encounter incidents where they are accused of being anti-social for not wanting to hang out with their friends and such. That’s never been the case for me. I just simply tell my friends that I need this day off for all the reasons mentioned above, and they’ve been super understanding. These bum days are like my oasis, and these are something I will not give up unless necessary.

Do you have bum days? What do you do on these days? Are you a social or an outgoing introvert, too? Share your thoughts in the comments!

Comments

  1. When I saw the blog title I thought you meant why it is important to have butt workout days, and I was going to agree with you. Well, I still agree with you for the importance of your definition of bum days for introverts.

    I don’t have any dedicated days for myself, but the partner, being an introvert himself (but nowhere as introverted and he’s definitely a social person), completely understands why sometimes I just shut down. We try to space out social events, but it can get hard when it gets to big things like the end of the year…

    It is, as I said, also important to make sure you include bums in your regular workout routine. :D

    • I am still laughing at the butt thing XD I’d not think of people even thinking of butt workout days when I wrote this post, but now I cannot unsee it!

      It’s good your partner understands that you need those days where you shut down. I agree, it can be difficult to space out social events, but thankfully, I don’t have too many of those parties I have to attend. Thank goodness!

  2. I am introverted but because I am outgoing and hang out with people who are more extroverted, I cop a lot of crap for being ‘anti-social’. Most of my close friends completely understand that I prefer to have some time alone to recover from social activities and get sleep. Other people just don’t understand that even though I explain it to them. It’s just because they are extroverted, I think, and it is hard for them to imagine not going out and socialising.

    Sunday is usually a bum day for me – on Mondays, when someone asks what I did on the weekend, I have no shame in saying that I just stayed at home for the weekend. That’s literally what I usually do!

    • That’s a shame they don’t understand. :/ Now that I think about it, I’d say 90% of my friends are introverted, so maybe that’s why they understand. Now my mum’s an extrovert, and she doesn’t understand and gives me some grief about it!

      Yes, I have no shame in saying I stayed home or something :) In fact, sometimes I tell people that I am thrilled I have nothing planned for an entire weekend XD

  3. Hello fellow INTJ. it’s so rare to find a fellow INTJ in real life. i only have 1-2 friends irl that i know are INTJ girls. no INTJ male friend though. i’m not sure but i think you’re an ambivert and the ‘outgoing introvert’ type is equivalent to ambiverts who possess both introverted and extroverted qualities. i, on the other hand, am a hardcore introvert lol

    i take A LOT of bum days. the only time i’m willing to sacrifice my bum days is for my boyfriend slash best friend because he’s the only person i’m most comfortable with. does that sound cheesy? LOL. i’d sacrifice my bum day once in a while for my best girl friend but not as often as i would for my boy-slash-best friend. basically, there are only 2 people in my life that i don’t mind sacrificing my bum days once in a while and that doesn’t even include my family members or relatives. yes, i don’t sacrifice bum days for them because i hate family gathering and unnecessary small talks #INTJFirstProblems. i mean, even during my bum days where i want personal time and space and silence, the people in my house will always find stuff to annoy me so really, this is why i can’t get personal quality time at all. (my parents label me as antisocial arrogant creature because they don’t understand and respect introverts. aha!) it’s funny for me because some of my friends (including my bf) understand how introverted i am and my parents are the biggest culprits for calling me arrogant and antisocial.

    unfortunately i find extroverts who force me to be like them, to be as socially active and outgoing as them as annoying chatterbox. i don’t mingle well with extroverts especially if they can’t respect my space. i’ve encountered so many annoying extroverts with such personalities in my life. that’s why i don’t like socializing and will only do so towards select chosen ones :P

    during my bum days, i usually just browse things online, stay on the pc 24/7, watch movies and/or play video games. i should read though because i haven’t been reading much these past few years.

    • I am not an ambivert. I’m far more introverted to be an ambivert. I may be more of a social introvert, but it’s only with certain people, and even then sometimes I get exhausted being around my cherished friends. Also, whenever I take those MBTI tests, I always score like 98% introvert; definitely nothing below 90%, so to say I’m an ambivert isn’t accurate at all.

      It’s good you’re able to take a lot of bum days. I am not fond of family gatherings either. I just came from one just now, and I’m just so bloody relieved it’s done. XD

      Like I wrote to Georgie, a lot of my friends are fellow introverts, so that really helps me. I do have a few extroverted friends, but they aren’t demanding or anything, thank goodness!

  4. I loved reading this post! You are certainly right of the importance of bum days – although I am not 100% introverted (I think, I’m extroverted but sometimes I’m in the middle – ambivert is probably the best way to describe me, although I did get the ENTJ type) I do agree that we all need a bum day. Since starting my placement, and working 9 -5 everyday, I’ve been dedicated to having bum days on the weekend (usually a sunday) where, like you I write a blog and go blog hopping. I think it’s important to focus on what you like doing on these rest days. I’ve had some anti-social comments thrown at me over the past few years because of this actually – but I don’t really care when I’m enjoying myself :D

    • I think we all have introvert/extrovert tendencies, but for some people they are more this than that, and that’s fine! In fact, I read somewhere that extroverts also benefits from being alone from time to time, so basically we all need alone time once in a while, some more than others. Honestly, I sensed you’re more of an extroverted person, but I can also see that you’re an introvert, so your conclusion of being an ambivert sounds about right! And good on you for not caring about those anti-social comments! As long as you’re happy, that’s all it matters. ^_^

  5. I think it’s awesome that you set aside time for yourself! So many people put their physical and mental health at risk by pushing themselves too much and a day to yourself is a great idea. Kudos!

    Unfortunately, I think I’m a busy-body who needs to take a rest =( but your post has given me a little inspiration =)

    • I hope you’ll give yourself breaks! It’s something I know I need and will do my best to ensure I have my bum days XD

  6. There are those times when we need to be alone… I love being left alone sometimes just to relax and ~not think~. Bum days are great so you can rejuvenate energy before going back to work XD. I pretty much do the same on Sundays where I play games, try to publish a blog post, and return comments (in a perfect world). It’s good that your friends understand your need for alone time. I wish I can have the same on my end XD. I’m weird in a way where I love to be social but at my own convenience.

    • It makes sense to be social at your own pace and schedule. I’m the one who usually initiates meeting up with friends, and I don’t mind it because it gives me full control of when I want to meet them! I hope your friends will grow to understand your own needs of having a day to yourself :)

  7. I’m an INTJ as well! I don’t really fluctuate, though. But that’s fine with me since I like having a solid personality type I can fit myself into. :P

    I completely understand needing a bum day. My day is usually Friday, even though I work in the mornings. I attend school Monday-Thursday, so Friday is my day off because it’s the day I can ignore homework and focus on things I enjoy. Work doesn’t bother me much because I only work ~4 hours in the morning! This is usually the day I’ll catch up on hobbies or just generally do as little as possible.

    Lately, I’ve had a hard time getting my bum days in which is a bummer (ha). I can definitely attest to the fact that extroverts don’t understand an introvert’s need to have “solo” time. For me, being by myself is really relaxing and allows me to reset. I have a friend that always wants to do something during my downtime, but I’m usually saying “No” and asking for another day.

    Time to yourself is so important, and I think people need to take that time more often. It’s healthy! And doing nothing on the weekend isn’t shameful. Weekends were always supposed to be leisurely. I don’t know at what point in the world our idea of a weekend being “busy” started to come about, but it used to be Monday-Friday were your busy days.

    • Four hours is still too much for me! I’d rather have no work and just spend the whole day being a bum XD; I’m glad it doesn’t bother you, though. :)

      You bring up a good point about the weekend being relaxing, but I guess it became busy because people are usually working Monday to Friday, so whatever they can’t get done during the week, they can only do it on the weekend, and thus they’re busy all week long! I’ve had weeks like that, too, but I am pretty adamant about Sunday being my bum day, so I know my limit and what I need!

  8. I’m an outgoing introvert too! It always bothers me when people assume introverts are not outgoing at all, but that isn’t true. It’s more about how we take in information and get our energy. We’re also more selective on who we’re outgoing with.

    Sunday tends to be a bum day for me too, and I spend it either being lazy in front of the TV or working on my hobbies. Most of the time, I only leave the house for food (because we’re also too lazy to cook, haha). My friends tend to be the same way, so I don’t really get bugged about being anti-social since they’re just doing the same thing.

    I think it’s a good thing to have a quiet and relaxing day during the week!

    • Yes to the way we process information and how we get our energy! Yes, yes, yes! It’s weird how people assume introverts = anti-social and not outgoing. Nope! I’m pretty reserved, but put me with the right people, I’ll be as outgoing as any extrovert, haha! Selective outgoing-ness FTW!

      I’m too lazy to cook, too, so that’s the only way I’ll go outside, too XD It’s just far easier to buy takeaway or something ^^;;

  9. Fellow INTJ here! :) My friends know that I can be extremely antisocial (as in I push them away for reasons not against them) so it’s really not a problem. I think most of them are introverts, too. But even the ones who are not, they’re just not the type of people to take a grudge when I’m feeling a bit flaky. I’m lucky, I guess.

    Sunday is my bum day, too! I usually work on my blogs and other things during Saturday, but there are instances when I’d get two bum days.

    Belated happy birthday to your mom!

    • That’s good your friends are understanding :)

      If I really feel exhausted, I’ll give myself the whole weekend as a bum weekend, but that’s kind of rare. But some weekends, I need that, and I’ll take two bum days then :)

  10. I totally feel you! My weekends are usually pretty lazy because I’m so exhausted of all the things I have to get done during the work week. Being around people all day at work is exhausting for me, as I’m an introvert too, and then when I come home I have a laundry list of things to do. Mix that with seeing friends and church activities, I’m physically and emotionally drained. So usually my whole weekend is a bum weekend lol. I will do some small things and usually I will clean one of the two days, but usually at least one day of the weekend is reserved just to wind down and do some things that I want to do without a million people around.

    I think most people are pretty understanding about needing some time for yourself. I love reading about other introverts and how they take time to wind down for themselves. :)

    • It is exhausting X_X And I think that exhaustion spills into when I’m at work. In my previous workplace, I notice that when I am really tired of people, I’ll sort of shut down at work and just avoid interacting with people as much as I can. I’ll do my tasks, but I’ll isolate myself away from everyone on those days. Otherwise, I’ll come off quite bitchy, and I don’t want to act like that with my co-workers. Unfortunately, I don’t have that option now, so I’ll have to find other ways to cope!

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