How to Answer a Particular Question Regarding Boyfriends

This post is old, so what you see here may not reflect my current opinion and mindset, certain information may be outdated, and links may be broken.

In the last six months I’ve had a lot of people ask me if I were married after looking at my “SNARKY” ring on my left ring finger. Obviously they don’t look at it closely. It’s a silver ring with “SNARKY” engraved on it. Who in the world would have a wedding ring that says “SNARKY”? I mean, I may actually consider that in the future, but . . . come on!

Today, someone asked if I were married (which I said no), asked if I had kids (if I weren’t married why would I have kids? Do I look like a single-parent?), and then after I told him I lived with my parents, he asked if I had a boyfriend.

I said no.

His next question: Why don’t you have a boyfriend?

At this point I was fed up with his questioning, so I said, “I don’t need one!”

Is it normal for people to ask me why I don’t have a significant other now? Why would you even ask that in the first place? If I met someone who was single, I am not going to ask, “Why are you single?”! Gosh.

Next time someone asks me why I don’t have a significant other, I should really be snarky and say the following:

Do I need to have a boyfriend to be a someone? Do I need to bend over backwards to get a man who might not respect me even the slightest? To set one thing straight: I don’t need a man to fulfil whatever emptiness you think I might have in my life. I’m a material girl and damn proud of it. If I wanted a man to make me happy, I may as well get an android or something because they will be easy to train and never argue back with me. Now piss off and stay out of my private life.

Har, har, har.

Honestly, if you were single and someone asked why you don’t have a boyfriend/girlfriend/ANYTHING, how would you respond?!

I mean, it’s one thing to have my MOTHER ask me why, but to have an acquaintance and others asking me this? Gosh. SOD OFF.


  1. Haha I feel the same way. I hate visiting Indonesia because I am just different from everyone else; I was born and raised in Australia and.. yeah, it’s pretty obvious.

    Eeeek! What kind of question is that?! It’s rude and to ask further WHY you don’t have a boyfriend is really interrogating.

    I wear a ring on my right hand ring finger. No one asks me about it, thankfully. I don’t like how people assume things like that or ask things like that, just because of the way you look. That’s how I see it.

    I have a boyfriend so I can’t imagine being asked that. I’d probably respond with a simple “no”. :P

  2. I hate when people ask that question! It’s like they’re waiting for us to give them some fatal attribute about us. It’s not like we spend our lives actively looking for a boyfriend. If it happens, it happens!

  3. …for a second I thought your ring said “SNARRY” on it, to which I went THAT IS FREAKING AWESOME.

    Not that a ring that had “SNARKY” written on it wouldn’t be amazing either, but…

    I often got the opposite question from people: why do you have a boyfriend? My parents thought I was too young to date, my friends were baffled by the fact that I was even interested in being in a relationship at all, etc. Although when you’ve been with someone for 4 years, they stop asking after a while.

    But I was always of the belief that you don’t need another person to be fulfilled, but that, I think, is a product of my upbringing. My mother always told me I didn’t need a boyfriend (the subtext of that being “You don’t WANT a boyfriend”) and that if I chose to be single my entire life she’d support my decision. The flip side of this is, if someone isn’t absolutely worth giving up singlehood for, then you shouldn’t be dating him/her at all. I hate it when people settle.

  4. I get asked that all the time. What annoys me more than just the question itself is most people’s assumption that all feminine-looking women must be straight (which I’m sometimes guilty of, I must admit). Back then I’d tell them my “boyfriend” is a girlfriend. Now that I’m single I don’t bother any more. :P

  5. Wow… that goes on my list of dumbest questions ever asked… why is it assumed that people need a boy/girlfriend when they become a certain age? :/

    I don’t think I’d dignify that question with a proper answer because it’s a retarded thing to ask in the first place haha… Say something like I’m only into purple-coloured martians and unfortunately you haven’t met one yet or…

    You prefer spending your life raising dogs that can yelp to the tune of Wagner whilst juggling on a unicycle because it’s more fulfilling than finding a boyfriend for the sake of having one.


  6. If he was a new acquaintance, it could be that he was making sure you’re absolutely single before asking you out :P And then he could be shocked and incredulous that you don’t have a boyfriend.

    It’s not “if you [are] single” for me. ;) Whenever people ask me about a boyfriend I raise my right eyebrow and glare at them until they back off or someone else says I don’t need a boyfriend. Which is well-conveyed in my “don’t mess with me” personality…

  7. Yeah that’s why I have polls. It’s always nice to see how the public will vote.

    Well maybe you shouldn’t be wearing your ring on your left hand silly! But anyway, when people ask me why I don’t have a boyfriend I just tell them that I haven’t found the right guy yet or the right guy hasn’t found me. Not so much take offense that they’re trying to tell me I’m no one without someone. As much as I’d like to be somebody’s somebody, I also agree with you that you don’t need a significant other to be someone. I mean, look at Oprah. That woman is a billionaire and she doesn’t have a man. She may be lonely but she’s surrounded by good friends and people. :)

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