This post is old, so what you see here may not reflect my current opinion and mindset, certain information may be outdated, and links may be broken.
Just thinking about the hell that’s going to bombard me in the next few weeks is making me want to cry out of frustration, anger, and pure depression. The following things is coming up:
* May 3 – Math Midterm #2
* May 4 – Part-time
* May 5 – Sub
* May 6 – Approval for my Psychology Research Project
* May 9 – Part-time
* May 12 – Sub
* May 13 – Psychology Midterm #2
* May 15 ~ 19 – Sub ALL week
* May 16 – Part-time
* May 18 – Part-time
* May 20 – Psychology Portfolio/Research Project Due
* May 23 – Part-time
* May 24 – Math Final Exam
* May 25 – Part-time / Band Spring Concert
* May 27 – Psychology Final Exam
I want to cry. Especially for the week of the 15th – 19th. I don’t mind subbing all week. I do mind that now with my new part-time job, I have to go straight to there after subbing and work till seven. It sucks that it’s the same week my Psychology crap is due. Fuck.
My new part-time job is not a great one I must say. Only getting paid $5.50 an hour (about) to grade ESL students’ assignments. That’s not so bad, really. What pisses me off about this job is the fact that it takes an HOUR to get there by bus. And that’s still IN Seoul. I mean damn. For a long ass commute like that, I’d almost rather go to Osan or something.
I just feel overwhelmed with all this crap coming up at me. Goddamn… I almost wish I could skip out a week of that new part-time job, but I got a feeling the boss won’t let me? I just wish I could skip out the week where I’m subbing that whole week. *sighs* I could have just took on another job, next month when the high school gets out, but the offer came up, and I was afraid that if I didn’t take it now, I’d lose the chance. I am torn now… torn at whether I should keep my sanity or to earn a little extra money.
For the first time in three years of college, I am feeling that panick, that panick of knowing that my grades will drop, the panick that I feel like I am accomplishing nothing no matter how hard I try. I just feel so useless and helpless at the fact that I am facing a damn D or F in my math class. And now I am feeling that with my CMST and my Pscyhology class. I feel like I cannot keep up.
What’s messed up with the CMST one is that I felt that panick after I got a 8.5 out of 10 on my first assignment. I had no idea that my teacher was going to dock 1.5 points off just ONE thing I couldn’t do. That was so shocking to me. For the Psychology stuff, I am worried about the Research project. I have to create a hypothesis, find two articles to back up my damn hypothesis, conduct a short survey of at least 10 participants, and write a fairly short paper about it. The part that I’m freaking out on? The fact that I never wrote a damn research paper in the style with the Abstract, Method, etcetera format is what’s causing my unstable mentalness.
AUGH! Save my insanity!! If I kaput, now ya’ll know why. I am hating this month already. It’s only the 2nd day, and I’m on the edge right now. That is so not good.