This post is old, so what you see here may not reflect my current opinion and mindset, certain information may be outdated, and links may be broken.
Jeff-Oppa, I really love you and since I care for you, I HAVE to say this.
I know you love “Gretchen” a lot, but personally you really need to get over her. Not only is she ruining your life, but it really seems like she’s enjoying making you act like a lovesick puppy dog.
I never met Gretchen in person at all, but from what I heard about her, she sounds like she needs to take counseling or better yet, have someone beat the shit out of her and knock some sense into her. She’s treating you horribly and it seems like everyone but you see it. I see it, Jen sees it, and hell even your mum probably sees it but doesn’t tell you the real reason she doesn’t like her. I think that the whole “she’s seven year older than you” is a cover up for something more.
You love her, yes you do. But does she love you back? If she’d have loved you, than she would have understanded why she didn’t come first priority when you were in the army. Instead she got pissed off when you told her you couldn’t come down and see her because of curfew and shite like that. If she truly loved you, than she’d understand that. She has her own set of responsibilities and you being in the army was one of yours. If she couldn’t see that, then she definitely doesn’t know that other people have responsibilites as yourself.
I know you, Jeff. I really do. You are the most sweetest, the most loving guy to walk upon the face of the Earth. You treat whom you love with so much care. You treat them like kings and queens. You already treat your friends like that, and with the “one”, you probably treat them even more. Along the same line of treating her like a Goddess. And it hurts for me to see you get taken of that advantage by someone you claim as your mate. It really does. You buy her gifts, and like every human being, she or they would love receiving them and will love the effort you put into showing how much you care. But she doesn’t seem like she shows anything at all.
Wait, I take that back. She does show you something. She shows you how much of a bitch she is. Gretchen basically treats you like her damn lap dog. You guys break up and than you guys become friends again. You try to get on the good side of her and when you do one little, mundane action wrong, she dumps you or whatever. Now if I was her, I wouldn’t treat you like shite over something inane like forgetting to call me or something. She expects too much from you and then when you don’t fulfill her requests and expectations, she blows you off.
I normally wouldn’t say stuff like this to you, Jeff, but if it’s ruining one of my good friend’s life, then by Gods, I WILL tell you how I feel. You refuse to go to places where you two have been together. Well you do go, but it gets you depress because the places bring back memories. You say you don’t want to marry anyone because of Gretchen. That’s fucking bullshite. Even though you two aren’t together, she’s STILL indirectly running your life! You can’t let some woman do that to you. Some powers are meant to be, but this kind of power is dangerous. And unfortunately, she does have that power over you.
I’m tired of seeing you depressed about her and not living your life the way you want to live. If I was in that situation, I would not let some MAN who wasn’t even a MAN to me to ruin my life and take over it. I refuse to. I’m too independent to do that. If I wanted someone to run my life like that, I’ll only tolerate it with my parents, but no one else.
So take it from me, Jeff. If three women you trust say that you need to get over her and don’t even like her, we are telling you something right here. And if you don’t want to talk to me ever again, then I understand. It’ll hurt but I’m telling the truth and I am definitely a bluntier type of person. I’m telling this out of love, a friendly love. A sisterly advice. Do take it for once and then you will see that Gretchen isn’t the only woman out there.