This post is old, so what you see here may not reflect my current opinion and mindset, certain information may be outdated, and links may be broken.
After having a semi-nervous breakdown on the same night I wrote the previous entry, I realised that breakdowns aren’t cool, at all. I never suspected I’d be a victim of it, really I didn’t. But I tend to surprise myself.
Basically what triggered the breakdown was having my friend’s (someone who I had a crush on) girlfriend iming me and talking to me. It’s bad enough that I had a huge ass crush on him, but it’s even more worse when the girl has the same name as me, and has a similar personality to mine. Yeah. After having that college shite thrown at me, having realised that my friends are NOT my friends at all, trying to get a freaking job situation, and then the stress about this whole adoption shite, just pushed me over the edge.
Yeah. Not a good combo, eh? And it was all in the course of three days. Too much for one person to take I believe. So yeah. I was losing it. Crying in front of the monitor, talking to my ex-crush’s girlfriend, who was asking me to help her get a scrapbook set up for him as a goodbye present, I lost it. At that time I didn’t even know it was a damn breakdown. But now I know. I had friends that were trying to cheer me up, and I thank you all for it. Especially Jen. *nods* She was turning into chibi mode and waving a mallet and commanding me not to cry. That didn’t help. LOL. Sure it made me laugh, but not enough to get me out of the mode.
And then after getting offline, I went crazy trying to find my last diary. I felt numb. I felt fucking suicidal then. I felt like I was in an automatic machine mode. Then Jen called me at 2 AM and she got me out of it. She told me that Charles, her boyfriend, met Linkin Park in person and got their autographs. Of course that got us all into screaming mode then. So yeah, that got me back to normal almost.
Fell asleep and woke up the next day. I felt better, but I felt so exhausted and so bummy. I just didn’t want to do anything that day, but be on the PC. And that I did. And then I realised that I had a breakdown. Scary, now that I think about it. I asked Jen if people recover from breakdowns this quickly and she said no, but then her call just boosted me big time. XD. I’m thankful for it.
Bah. Anyhoo. Enough of that. I probably bored you. So all in all, I’m back to normal and well ah yeah.