This post is old, so what you see here may not reflect my current opinion and mindset, certain information may be outdated, and links may be broken.
College hasn’t even started, and I already hate the process of it. Today I went to take the damn English Placement test. That stupid ass test tells whether or not you are qualified to take EDCP 101, which an English Substitute class and counts as an elective credit; basically a class for ESL students, and then we have ENGL 101. The first English you take. I wanted to take the latter, but the damn test told me to take EDCP. Then again, I swear that it’s rigged. Jen took it and only missed one question, but was still forced to take that class. From her experience, it was a waste of money, waste of time, and all right BS class that even her professor told her that she shouldn’t even be in there! She and I both agree that it’s rigged and thus forcing more new students to take the course because they don’t have enough people signing up for it. FUCKING BASTARDS.
And then Dad came to pay for the classes. He blamed me for not getting ENGL 101 on the placement test saying that I should have spent a week studying. Yeah, I could have. But there was a problem, THE DAMN EXAMPLES IN THE BOOK WEREN’T THE SAME CONCEPT TO THE ONE ON THE ACTUAL FUCKING TEST! I thought it was going to be a paper/pencil test, instead it was on the computer. But no, the test in the booklet was nothing like the actual test. Fuckers. And then the first part was reading comprehensive. The booklet mentioned NOTHING about that part. And then the examples in the book was similar to the second part, but still it was so different that I wasn’t expecting it.
But yeah. He got pissed that he has to pay for a class I don’t even need and that they are both elective courses. Well hey, at least I’ll get some of my elective credits out of the way! and the LIBS 150 is needed and mandatory. Thank god that’s just two all-day Saturday seminars… But he was blaming me. And then when I saw him again at the PX, we had another dispute and he said he was ashamed of me and saying that I graduated with honours, and here I am taking a fucking BS class. IT WASN’T MY CHOICE!
Got home. Had another dispute, I asked him why he had to say he was ashamed of me, and he said he never said that. He said he was never ASHAMED of me. B FUCKING S. I heard it with my own ears, and I know I may have trouble hearing, but not when he nearly hissed it in my ear.
Then, while laughing, he bought up the subject of Ms. Spencer, my 9th grade honour English teacher, who tried to teach me grammar, but I refused to be taught and said that I wanted to write my own way. He says that now this is a punishment for me. Okay so I admit I was immature back in 9th grade, but that was FOUR fucking years ago. After that year, I’ve matured with writing. Especially in 11th grade, Ms. Massengill really opened my eyes. I’ve been trying to write properly since then and it’s hard understanding grammar especially when teachers stop teaching them after 6th grade. It’s confusing. I’m trying to learn them, and I know I’ve made a big improvement compared to before. Especially since I know that I should watch out for my tenses and I do. If dad thinks I can pick up grammar skills that I’ve been missing out a lot since 6th grade, then he’s overestimating me.
Speaking of overestimating, why does he always have such a high expectation of me? He told me that the only way that these college courses are worth paying for are to get A’s on all of them. Even in HS, he thought that I could have taken 4 AP courses in one year and pass them. That’s not even near possible. I know my limit. And granted taking two classes a term will be easier to get A’s in, but if it’s Math, HELL NO. Why must he set such high expectation of me and then get disappointed when I don’t achieve it? Why? Wait, I forgot, I’m talking about Mr.-I’m-A-Optimist person here.
But yeah, I’m not having a great time here and now I am seriously wishing, I just got myself some sort of a damn scholarship and go to a school in the states. This seriously STINKS. He’s pissed off how I can’t pay for all this, WELL HOW CAN I WHEN I DON’T HAVE A BLOODY STEADY JOB! It’s not EASY getting a good job here. And even if I do, I will not get a fucking GS-11 job like he claims I can! No way in hell! Not with the attitude the adults shows toward teenagers who thinks we are ignorant fools and can’t do jack shite. No way.
Whatever. I don’t care. I’ll take the damn fucking class and get a big time review with my grammar. Fuck this shite. If he’s ashamed of me, then too fucking bad, because it’s not changeable.