Why Bother

This post is old, so what you see here may not reflect my current opinion and mindset, certain information may be outdated, and links may be broken.

Yes. Why bother being nice to anyone now, except for my “REAL” friends. Why bother anymore. But I do bother, because it’s part of my fucking nature. Dad says I’m a pessimist. And because what I go through and see, it’s no damn surprise.

It’s time like this when I wished I had some of my online friends here. But then again, even if they are here, and met me in person, they would fucking find me annoying because of my damn speech problems, won’t they?

I fucking hate it. I fucking hate having speech problems because of my hearing problems. I fucking hate having a fucked up eye. Just when I am slowly accepting it as a part of me, something takes that feeling away. I just hate it.

Why must I have these problems. Am I always going to be shun by society like that? Am I? The people I considered friends, in which about 90% of them, aren’t who I thought they were. Why? I be nice to you, and you take it for granted? Why must you? Am I that good of a tool? A retarded bitch that knows nothing about the world and sees everything as happy in Candy Land? Do they THINK that I am ignorant and know nothing at all?

I asked Jen, and got my answer. I always knew the group never liked me, but hearing it in words, hurts a lot. Granted I’m glad I know for sure now, but still it hurts. It does.

I was hoping I could hang with them every once in a while when Jen leaves. I guess not anymore. Why bother imposing them when they hate me for my problems that I can’t control. Why bother just fucking giving them what they ask for. Why bother letting them see a happy Tara, instead of the real bitchy Tara.

Why do I EVEN bother. I shouldn’t let this get to me, but it does. Even when I hug one of them, they gloat about not hugging back or whatsoever. Niceness is not a fucking necessity in the world anymore, act like them and be a bitch, then they will accept you.

This is a farked up world. And I despise it.

Comments

  1. Lady Athena on

    People like that are seriously fucked up. I hate them. I was treated like that too just because I was different, but it stopped once I was outta high school. Once you get into college you’ll meet nice, intelligent people (well, most of the time) who won’t screw with your head. Just leave the assholes behind and don’t worry about them. You’re a cool girl, so don’t let them get to you.

  2. Jennifer on

    I’m sorry that there are people out there who are ignorant enough to treat others like that.

  3. I can’t believe that people are so mean to you! *hugglesquish* You don’t deserve that kind of treatment in the least. I hope that you’ll feel better and see that there are many people who do care about you. =) *hugs*

  4. What mean friends. Gloating like that. How evil!! Actually I thought you were pretty nice and funny when I first met you at the bowling alley. You still are. I guess it depends on how you view things. Oh.. I got caught chatting at work so now I can’t do it anymore. ;o;

  5. haha, sorry, I put the wrong name. I’m not used to using this name on the net.

  6. Hey~ Man it sounds horrid. Im sorry to hear this… I seriously hope people see the more intelligent side of you…/more compassionate :D. Well have a great "remaining" Summer!

  7. aww damn, what kinda friends are they? ? you’re better off without them.

  8. Forget them! Your a wonderful person and you don’t need to be around ppl like that.

  9. They’re all asses, Tara! You really are a great person, inside and out, and those people should just be shoved off of a cliff by rapid carrots, anyways… *coughs* But even if we met you in real life, we know who we are and we wouldn’t shun you in such a petty way that means we don’t have any brains… *hugs her*

  10. Yeah!!! What Tuan says. You’re better off without them!!

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