This post is old, so what you see here may not reflect my current opinion and mindset, certain information may be outdated, and links may be broken.
You know what? I hate useless jobs. I absolutely hate it. I feel like crying and all that shit. I got the most unsupported parents ever. I work in a very uncomfortable place and it just sucks. I feel like a useless high school student working there now. I hate ACS. I hate how they treat me now. I hate how they do not recognise my skills anymore. I just despise it. It’s like summer hire all over again. Damn I suck.
Last year at ACS, I was recognised as their “graphic person”. I was comfortable with everyone there (minus one lady) and when Mr. Carter wasn’t there, they’d open the door up for me. Last year everyone oohed and ahed over my shit. The atmosphere was comfortable and I actually had a computer to work on for whatever I needed to do. This year, the computer is either being used by someone else or whatever. And not to mention, now I have to ask my supervisor or someone to log in the pc for me. Last year I didn’t have to do that. Now I do. I feel like a lowly student now.
Granted, most of the people that used to work there all moved, and the staff is half-replaced now. So that might be it. That they don’t know me. But the other half just pretty much ignores me still. Also I used to volunteer there 2-3 days after school a week. Maybe now that I ain’t volunteering there, they just treat me like a “student”. But too me it is a form of volunteering. I was persistent about working there. I came to Mr. Carter before school even started. He wasn’t there. Then during the first week of school, I went there during lunch like several times and he wasn’t there. I kept persisting. I wanted to work there. I could have easily chosen another place to work, or not even take CWE. I could have easily done that. But no, I WANTED to work there. So that volunteering thing is a pretty pathetic excuse and that is my dad’s reason. Spare me pathetic excuses.
You know what just made me realised that I was downgraded to a student there? When my supervisor told me to dust the shelves. It’s like living summer hire all over agian. I felt like crying then. Granted I know that the janitor crew got cut down, so now they have to do all that shit, but still. Dammit. I didn’t get my designing skills for this kind of shit. I didn’t go to school to learn how to use Powerpoint, Word and whatever to clean something. I didn’t spend all my free time trying to improve my designing skills. I could have easily said fuck it, and become a couch potato and watch useless tv shows. I ain’t taking all this computer classes for nothing. True I need to take it cuz I need a full school days, but if they offered more good and useful computer classes, I’d be taking more of those.
Each time when I was asked to clean something during summer hire, you know what I felt? I felt useless. I felt like a fucking slave. I felt like that being a janitor is my true job. I felt like CRYING each time I got asked. And even today I wanted to cry. I just hate it. Granted I got PAID during summer hire to do cleaning and to most people, it’s easy money. But I don’t want that. I want a job where I can put my skills to work. I want a job where I feel accompolished and cleaning something up, when an 8 year-old can do the same isn’t an accomplishment. Call me stupid or weird for all I care. I don’t give a damn. I don’t want a job like that. And if that’s how I’m gonna be treated when I am not even being paid, then I do not even want to know how I’ll be treated when I do get a paying job. Then again I already experienced that so whatever. Screw it.
I’m a willing worker. I might not have much experience like some people, but by gods, I know how to work and I got good customer service as long as I know my material. I might seem lazy, but see me at work, I’m dead serious. I am not gonna waste away like that. I REFUSE to be a janitor to someone when I got higher skills than that. I used to look forward to each time I go to ACS. Now I dread it. Dread it like my summer hire job and dread it like when I go to school. I thought I used to be something good there. Someone that’s at least noticed for her skills. I see people that makes their own flyers for their department and it suck ass. No one comes to me and ask. And they should know that I got good designing skills since I’ve worked there for 2 years. The people that are still there could recommend me to the ones that are new. They don’t even do that. Granted I work only 1 hour and a half every other day, but if I have to, I will come in after school and finish it up.
Damn it. And don’t tell me to be realistic people. I AM being realistic now. Do not tell me that most people don’t rely on high school students. They fucking should at least rely on some of them that got the potential. Do not tell me that high school students got no experience whatsoever, when some do. I know that 90% of the CWE students DO jack at their work site. They are poor excuses for supervisors. They say on their papers that they expect the people to learn this and that. Well I ALREADY know my basic working skills. I already know my shit and I ain’t gonna let it go to waste.