Fuck CWE

This post is old, so what you see here may not reflect my current opinion and mindset, certain information may be outdated, and links may be broken.

You know what? I hate useless jobs. I absolutely hate it. I feel like crying and all that shit. I got the most unsupported parents ever. I work in a very uncomfortable place and it just sucks. I feel like a useless high school student working there now. I hate ACS. I hate how they treat me now. I hate how they do not recognise my skills anymore. I just despise it. It’s like summer hire all over again. Damn I suck.

Last year at ACS, I was recognised as their “graphic person”. I was comfortable with everyone there (minus one lady) and when Mr. Carter wasn’t there, they’d open the door up for me. Last year everyone oohed and ahed over my shit. The atmosphere was comfortable and I actually had a computer to work on for whatever I needed to do. This year, the computer is either being used by someone else or whatever. And not to mention, now I have to ask my supervisor or someone to log in the pc for me. Last year I didn’t have to do that. Now I do. I feel like a lowly student now.

Granted, most of the people that used to work there all moved, and the staff is half-replaced now. So that might be it. That they don’t know me. But the other half just pretty much ignores me still. Also I used to volunteer there 2-3 days after school a week. Maybe now that I ain’t volunteering there, they just treat me like a “student”. But too me it is a form of volunteering. I was persistent about working there. I came to Mr. Carter before school even started. He wasn’t there. Then during the first week of school, I went there during lunch like several times and he wasn’t there. I kept persisting. I wanted to work there. I could have easily chosen another place to work, or not even take CWE. I could have easily done that. But no, I WANTED to work there. So that volunteering thing is a pretty pathetic excuse and that is my dad’s reason. Spare me pathetic excuses.

You know what just made me realised that I was downgraded to a student there? When my supervisor told me to dust the shelves. It’s like living summer hire all over agian. I felt like crying then. Granted I know that the janitor crew got cut down, so now they have to do all that shit, but still. Dammit. I didn’t get my designing skills for this kind of shit. I didn’t go to school to learn how to use Powerpoint, Word and whatever to clean something. I didn’t spend all my free time trying to improve my designing skills. I could have easily said fuck it, and become a couch potato and watch useless tv shows. I ain’t taking all this computer classes for nothing. True I need to take it cuz I need a full school days, but if they offered more good and useful computer classes, I’d be taking more of those.

Each time when I was asked to clean something during summer hire, you know what I felt? I felt useless. I felt like a fucking slave. I felt like that being a janitor is my true job. I felt like CRYING each time I got asked. And even today I wanted to cry. I just hate it. Granted I got PAID during summer hire to do cleaning and to most people, it’s easy money. But I don’t want that. I want a job where I can put my skills to work. I want a job where I feel accompolished and cleaning something up, when an 8 year-old can do the same isn’t an accomplishment. Call me stupid or weird for all I care. I don’t give a damn. I don’t want a job like that. And if that’s how I’m gonna be treated when I am not even being paid, then I do not even want to know how I’ll be treated when I do get a paying job. Then again I already experienced that so whatever. Screw it.

I’m a willing worker. I might not have much experience like some people, but by gods, I know how to work and I got good customer service as long as I know my material. I might seem lazy, but see me at work, I’m dead serious. I am not gonna waste away like that. I REFUSE to be a janitor to someone when I got higher skills than that. I used to look forward to each time I go to ACS. Now I dread it. Dread it like my summer hire job and dread it like when I go to school. I thought I used to be something good there. Someone that’s at least noticed for her skills. I see people that makes their own flyers for their department and it suck ass. No one comes to me and ask. And they should know that I got good designing skills since I’ve worked there for 2 years. The people that are still there could recommend me to the ones that are new. They don’t even do that. Granted I work only 1 hour and a half every other day, but if I have to, I will come in after school and finish it up.

Damn it. And don’t tell me to be realistic people. I AM being realistic now. Do not tell me that most people don’t rely on high school students. They fucking should at least rely on some of them that got the potential. Do not tell me that high school students got no experience whatsoever, when some do. I know that 90% of the CWE students DO jack at their work site. They are poor excuses for supervisors. They say on their papers that they expect the people to learn this and that. Well I ALREADY know my basic working skills. I already know my shit and I ain’t gonna let it go to waste.


  1. Chibi Misao on

    You ARE being realistic, and anyone who says otherwise is quite wrong. Everyone deserves the chance to put the skills they have to work, and essentially, that’s what a JOB is. I think the problem with the new staff is that they are still stuck on that notion that most high school students take jobs just for the money and not for the experience. You’re obviously someone who’s not like that, so you shouldn’t put up with this kind of treatment. If you can, you should either give yourself an extra push and start something up yourself or go find some place that will really appreciate you and your skills. Students with true potential shouldn’t have to subjected to crap like cleaning up.

    Cheer up:) Oh, and don’t bother trying to get into my blog; it’s homeless right now because I think my hostess’ domain died (completely as in not ever coming back) right after I blogged about it might be going down u_u Ta-ta! *hugs*

  2. Oh, that sucks major ass. My god, I feel for you. I really do. I went to a school that specialized in programming languages. They have a shit load of programming positions they can place students in. However, since I’ve never had a “real programming job” before, they feel the need to place me in positions like customer service. Their best advice they have for me is to go to unemployment agencies and ask the people I know if there are any jobs available for me. It’s like they won’t give me the time of day in regards to the skills I have. I’ve been turned down many times because of my “age” for a few positions. They claimed that I was too “inexperienced” to perform the job even though I had more than the required skills needed for the position. God, this sucks ass. I worked at this place once where I was not allowed to do anything on my PC even if I could handle it. The only thing they would let me touch was the AS/400 applications. Even when my goddamn computer froze, I was yelled at for hitting Ctrl/Alt/Dlt. Idiots! Anyway, sorry about all the cursing… I feel your pain. I hope your day is better today. Take care.

  3. Lady Athena on

    I’ve never had a job, so I wouldn’t know how *that* feels, but I do know what it feels like to be left out and ignored. I have absolutely no one to talk to about computers, except for my dad, but he’s into hardware and programming, while I’m into web design and graphics. It’s hard to have certain skills and be good at them, but then be ignored. It really isn’t fair. I’m sorry about what you’re going through and I hope you get through it all right. Ja!

  4. Aw, Vicky, that sucks. : When I worked at summer hire, it was exactly the same for me. All I did was physical labor and that really sucked since I know I have the skills to accomplish something else besides that. I understand how you feel, but I think it’s because they think we can’t do what they want us to do since we’re only High school kids (when in fact, we have more computer related skills than half of the adults that WORK there) T_T* I hope CWE gets better for you… All I do during CWE is help set up labs, grade papers and put them into gradebooks. I occassionally do computer work since I’m really good with it, but it’s not like my skills are being used either.

    In any case, cheer up. Things will get better after you graduate. XD XD XD

  5. obviously you aren’t happy with your workplace, why stay there for?! find a place that respects your talents.

  6. Hiya Tara, I’m sorry I never read your blog. Sorry girl, but I’m closing down [Philtre] just like what I did to all my other sites. This internet is making me more and more disgusted everyday. But I can’t do anything, because I still love webdesigning……Take care of yourself and I know you’ll find a wonderful job soon ^_^

  7. Oh cheer up. I am sure you’ll find someone who will recognise you soon.

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